Being a Mom

I have now been a mom for 10 1/2 weeks! I honestly can't answer if it has gone by fast or slow. At times I can't believe my baby is 2 1/2 months, but then it feels like she has been here forever! Not being at work has really made the days flow together and I forget what day it is sometimes- and don't even ask me the date!

Just as I knew I would, I love being a mom! I always knew I wanted to have children and thought I would be perfectly fulfilled as a stay at home mom. I envisioned learning to care for a newborn would be a piece of cake, so I was a little surprised to find it is more challenging than I thought!

I prepared and studied for birth, but didn't give much thought to nursing. I figured it was the natural way so it couldn't be that hard... right? Wrong! After learning cup feedings, becoming best friends with the pump, and two infections later I can finally say it is becoming "easy" and enjoyable. I love knowing that I am giving Aubriella the best start possible.

I also didn't fully understand what it means to be a mom. I didn't appreciate that it is a role that I am 24/7! There isn't a minute that I'm not thinking about her and responsible for her. It warms my heart that I can almost always instantly soothe her tears, but at times it is overwhelming that I'm the only one who can! A couple of weeks ago she started only wanting me when she is tired. She will cry with whoever is holding her (even Jose sometimes!) and instantly stop when handed to me. I don't even have to say anything, she just knows! We've tried tricking her with me keeping my face close while someone else grabs her, but she is too smart for that! Because of this I haven't been able to leave her at all.

All the challenges are worth it though! The lack of sleep of Aubriella's first month are now a funny memory (like the time Jose and I woke up sitting up on the edge of the bed, and don't know why or how long we were asleep like that....or the time I woke up patting my heart thinking I was burping the baby!) and are being replaced with 7-10 hours of solid sleep! When she was first born I wondered who made up that babies have different cries for different reasons, but can now distinguish a tired cry from a hungry cry. And every little smile (and there are LOTS throughout the day) makes it so worthwhile!