Only 2 days until Christmas! It never fails that Christmas day is warm here in Santa Maria. It can be cold the entire week before, and then Christmas day is magically warm. This year is going to be 68 degrees! I know that we are supposed to love our mild weather climate, but just once I want it to be really cold and rainy on Christmas day. I loved the stormy weather the other night because it is as wintery as we are gonna get on the Central Coast. Of course the little storm blew through quickly, but I enjoyed it while it lasted.
Being the last week before Christmas, I'm trying to enjoy our Christmas lights a little more, and stare at our Christmas tree a little bit longer ( It would be so nice if Christmas decorations could stay up all year!). Jose and I have also watched not one, but TWO Lifetime Christmas movies, and Christmas music is on at all times. Have I mentioned that I loooove Christmas??
It is so surreal this year thinking that it is our last without children. Jose was only half kidding when he suggested putting our tree in the living room that we can block with a baby gate next year, and my mom has mentioned how she won't be putting the train around her tree next year so Ellie won't try to get it. Jasen and I reminded my mom that someone will always be watching her, but my mom doesn't want Aubriella to feel like she can't touch things at Nana's house. Haha! I wonder what she will be like next year, seeing her first lights, going to the tree farm. Will she be crawling like I was at that age, or walking like a pro like her daddy did?
For some reason, lately I keep remembering all the times I played Mary in church nativities or plays. I remember always wondering what it would be like to be pregnant and carrying the Messiah. Even when I was younger I thought about Mary in labor, her pain as she laid in hay (one year in the Women's ministry event I was Mary on stage. My legs fell asleep so bad, I crawled off the stage! Sitting with my legs to the side for 1 hour taught me a thing or two about pain. ). This year actually expecting a baby has made me look at the birth story in a new light. I heard a birth narrative from Mary's perspective (you got to check it out!) and I almost started crying. When I hear Mary Did You Know or any other Christmas song about Mary and Baby Jesus I get a little teary. I just finally understand what it feels like to be expecting, and wondering what my baby will be like, and how God will use her, yet I know it is nothing compared to what Mary was going through as a teenage girl, with a miracle pregnancy, and not completely understanding what God was calling her to do but being willing to do it. Wow! Even now if I start to feel nervous or unsure about delivery, I think about her birth in the worst of conditions. I'm sure she will be my focal point/visualization during labor. And if I ever get around to making a birth play list, it will include all the holiday songs about Mary.
I'm looking forward to it being Christmas Eve tomorrow- I can't believe it! Things will be a little different this year as my mom was out of town a lot to visit my grandparents. We never got a chance to make our Christmas Eve tamales or invite people over, so we may be having a ham dinner! And I made the decision that this year will be the first Christmas Eve we don't attend the midnight service at FCC! Since I'm a huge fan of holiday traditions, this year may feel a little strange, but I've decided it might be the perfect timing for transition- because surely next year Jose and I will want to make our own family traditions with Aubriella!
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